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How many times have you heard two girls say “You look cute” when they greet each other. Ummm….how about every time! And it sounds really meaningful doesn’t it? You look cute. Women in the US are afraid to be beautiful, but cute, that’s okay! And even worse, they are afraid of other women being beautiful! It’s alright, you can be honest, you are one of them. Don’t worry, there is hope for you!
For some unknown reason to me, it seems like beautiful women aren’t credible or maybe they are just intimidating. And if you’re non-intimidating in your appearance, then maybe you are more credible. Let’s compare our typical female US reporters like Katie Couric to French reporter Melissa Theuriau. Now, no knock to Katie and I’m not saying all reporters should be hot, I’m just saying that beauty is appreciated in other cultures and frowned upon in the US. If anything, being beautiful can be a curse. (I know, I know, it’s important to be beautiful on the inside…but folks, we’re only talking on the outside here!)
This is not the case in countries that I’ve traveled to like Italy, France, Argentina and Brazil. The women in these countries use the word beautiful to describe other women. It’s a breath of fresh air to me. For Italian women for example everything is “bella, bella, bella”. They have no “charge” with another women’s beauty, if anything it inspires them.
Remember the last time you where at a party, night club, restaurant, and a truly beautiful feminine woman walked in, I mean a real knock out, what happened to the room. It got all F&@%-up didn’t it! My guess? Well, the men felt a “pull” from the feminine energy, it’s okay girls, men can appreciate a womans beauty without wanting to always get her in the sack! And the women most likely started sizing her up and made some judgment about her, maybe it was her shoes, outfit, hairstyle or even lip gloss…something has to be wrong with this beautiful woman and it’s every other woman’s job to find that something…or so they think.
Now, here’s what would happen in Italy. A beautiful feminine woman walks into the restaurant. The men feel it and check her out, and the women are likely to say something either to themselves or out load about how beautiful she is….not she’s cute…not I hate her shoes (unless of course the beautiful woman is from southern Italy and the girl judging is from Milan, in that case she would definitely hate her shoes!)…in any other case she’d probably just say , bella.
We, the US women, need to learn from the Italians, French and all other cultures that appreciate and expect beauty. I love traveling to places where beauty is appreciated, respected and sometimes expected. It’s nice to get out of the sweats and t-shirt philosophy of the US and put on a nice pair of 4 inch heels for dinner.
Think about it…would you rather be called beautiful or cute? Beautiful! And guess what, so would every other girl on the planet. It’s more meaningful. So, next time you see a beautiful woman walk into a room, acknowledge her beauty and maybe smile at her kindly instead of prejudging. And the next time you see your friend, tell her she looks beautiful…don’t be afraid.
Who said the only learning you do while traveling is about the Roman ruins? I love to learn from the other cultures, ya know the ones that have been around hundreds of years longer than our young little USA. Think of us as a preteen and Europe as the cool older cousin that taught us “the facts of life”. Learn from them, and don’t be afraid to kiss on both cheeks from now on!
Thanks for listening…
Kimberly Murgatroyd
80°F Sunny & No Humidity
Next Trip: 
Just now coming across your blog and wanted to commend you for such a wonderful post. Bella!
Kim, you give great points but I disagree because there’s all kinds of women in Italy and France. I appreciate the fact that there are beautiful women in America because I am American. Women, no matter where they live are protective of themselves and the men in their life. Therefore, I believe some women, not all, do get angry when they see their husbands or boyfriends looking hard at another woman.
.. it’s a lovely sentiment- but I don’t believe it reflects human nature accurately.
ever seen the movie ‘Malena’? !
no one who watches that film could conclude Italian women are above the corrosive force of jealousy-
My friends and even strangers always comment out loud as to how BEAUTIFUL I am. I never pretend I’m not. I actually show my appreciation and at the same time agree with them on their correct perspective of how I look. I think all of us beautiful American women (I happen to also consider myself Mexican American) should be proud if we are beautiful and not look down at other women or be jealous of others if they are truly gorgeous. God made us all. Some of us are more blessed than others. I personally think that ALL women are beautiful.
Sometimes when people spend time in another culture they like to idealize it and imagine that human nature is somehow different in this new place. I’ve traveled and lived abroad quite a bit and am also quite guilty of this. I am an american woman who used to live in Italy and I have to say that unfortunately this idealized view of Italian women is inaccurate. Yes I made some wonderful female friends there who were wonderful, warm hearted women, generous in their compliments of others as you described. However, as very passionate women, they are intensely jealous and territorial and yes many are very catty, vain and threatened by beauty. I know this for a fact unfortuantely. And had some akward experiences their as girls would slap their boyfriends or throw things at them or tell me right after being introduced to them that they were the most beautiful girl in the entire city, just in case I wanted to know. Very strange encounters that I never came across the likes of in America ever. All I know is that it depends on who you associate with. I choose to associate with people (both Italian and Americans) who don’t focus so much on the beauty of other but on the content and intelligence of those around them.
Questo è un post sul blog meraviglioso, ma credo che la bellezza è negli occhi di chi guarda, non credo che gli italiani sono migliori di quelli americani o gli americani sono migliori di quelli italiani. Ci sono donne uguali.
Yes, but would a man rather have a beautiful woman or a cute woman? I argue cute. Cute women are more fun and playful where beautiful women are more thinking more about themselves than about you.
I liked your article. I am married to a Bella Lady from Milano, and I have to add that the divides of cultural issues are so great that you have to look within yourself to appreciate. When we go out she will often point out bella women, and will compliment them. There is a since of being a women that can be VERY intimidating to other women. Take this note; Every day I come home to high heels, a sexy dress, perfume, and a glass of wine with a plate of Mortadella and Prosciutto. If you want to get a man attention and KEEP it, take the advice.