My Multitask Breakdown

Are you a habitual multitasker? I’m pretty sure that on some level, we’re all guilty. The reason we multitask is to save time, right? But what about the quality of work, quality of relationship and even the quality of our life. Is the trade off of saving time worth it?

I definitely qualify as a multitasker. I noticed how bad my multitasking had become when the other night, I sat down to watch one of my favorite TV shows and decided that I could work on some business at the same time on my laptop. Then I looked over at Rob and he was tapping on his iPhone, while watching the same show. That’s when it hit me. We’ve gone off the deep end. We can’t even sit to enjoy a mindless television program without being “connected” and multitasking. Whether it’s doing research for a new destination, reading about a new hotel, writing a new blog or just surfing the net, I couldn’t stop! The reality is, I was half doing both, which means both were suffering. Honestly, how can I watch, understand and enjoy a TV show while I’m reading hotel reviews and vice-versa! The truth is I can’t. So, not only am I doing crappy research, but I’m also not allowing myself enjoyment.

This got me thinking. Before cell phones became mini-computers, when you went out for dinner or to a movie with someone, 100% of the time was spent on conversation between you and your friend, husband or date. Now, when I go out to dinner, I notice that everyone has a cell phone on the table or even worse, in their hand. The other person is either staring out the window wishing they were somewhere else or on their phone too! Just ask my husband and he’ll tell you that his iPhone and I do NOT get along. I often remind him that his iPhone may end up with a cement block tied around it, swimming with the fishes, so to speak. Having a portable minicomputer is a wonderful advance in technology. In fact, when I got lost the other day trying to find the farmer’s market, I wished I had one. But, the millions of aps and immediate access to everything in your life with one tap is too addicting.

Then of course there is Facebook and twitter, which now can be accessed through your phone ap too! That is the ultimate in multitask time wasting. Not only are you Twittering and updating your Facebook status every 10 minutes, but you’re most likely doing it while doing something else or while with someone else.  Just the other day I updated my FB status to tell everyone I was researching and writing a new blog. Was I? Or was I wasting my time while Facebooking, again that damn need to be “connected”.

The truth is, Multitasking is overrated and has consequences. If your entire focus is not on what you are currently doing, whether it’s work or play, it will suffer. Think of how your parents hounded you as a child to not watch TV or talk on the phone while doing your homework. In an effort to try to reduce my personal multitasking habit I decided to make a list including the multitasks and their consequences. Of course, as soon as you focus on something, it shows up constantly. Kinda like when you want to buy a new car and then you start seeing that make and model everywhere. Well, my list began to grow. But Wednesday morning, I hit multitask rock-bottom. Here’s the story. I was making breakfast, packing my lunch all while trying to come up with a title for a new product with Rob. I placed my lunch bag on top of the stove burner that I just took hard boiled eggs off of and burnt a hole right though it! Not only did I ruin my bag, possible the stove burner, but it could have started a fire and on top of all that, I was half listening to Rob when he was trying to have a real conversation with me. I felt like like an idiot. But the reality is, I’m just in need of Multitaskers Anonymous.

Multitasking is a disease that is taking over our country and our world. We are all in need of a cure. Understandably, we are not always going to make the right choice. And, just like eating a cookie while on a diet, your multitask will have a negative effect on your life and your work.

So, my mission is to bring back the Single Tasking mind frame. Here’s a few simple ideas that I think will improve your quality of life and your work.

• Pick a time to work on projects when you know you won’t be interrupted.
• When you answer your cellphone, stop taping on your computer.
• Shut off your phones and allow dinner to happen without the interruption of iPhones and Blackberries (which are called Crack-berries for a reason!).
• Don’t eat dinner in front of the TV or laptop.
• When you watch TV or a movie, let’s put the electronics away.

What do you think? Are your projects and relationships suffering due to over multitasking?

The Perfect Holiday in Florence

Florence, or Firenze as it’s said in Italian, preferably with a flawless rolling “r”, is my favorite city in the world. This extraordinarily beautiful Tuscan capital city is the place that Rob and I plan to live for 3-6 months of the year once our daughter is in college. For me living in Italy is not a dream, it’s a necessity. I’m drawn to the Italian culture, history but especially the Italian people that inhabit this historic city which was developed by Julius Caesar himself. There is just something that is perfectly imperfect about the Italians. Maybe it’s the passionate way that a verbal quarrel can ensue like clockwork over a shared weekly dinner between friends, where the topic is which local farm produces the best olive oil. Maybe it’s the ridiculous red-tape that you encounter when you need to do something as simple as cash a travelers check; it can make you feel like you’re on an medieval Italian hamster wheel where the end result is surely to end in domani or tomorrow. Maybe it’s the arts and how, regardless of age, income or education, Italians have seemingly read and can passionately discuss the most important pieces of historical literature; just as we discuss who should have won the American Idol. Maybe it is the way the crema sits perfectly on the espresso. Or maybe, just maybe, it’s the effortless designs in my cappuccino that makes me feel like the local barista is a descendant of Botticelli or da Vince. The reality is that I love Florence for all of these reasons. Simply put, I have fallen head-over-heels in deep amore with Florence and it has become impossible for me to ever become satiated.  Therefore, there is only one remedy for this love-sickness. Book another wonderful week, which is never enough, in Florence!

The planning of my upcoming trip has my head spinning with excitement. So, I thought I’d share with you my perfect Florence experience!

When to Go:

Personally, I love Florence in the fall or winter because it’s not overrun with fanny pack wearing tourists crowding the Michelangelo’s David and the temperatures are relatively mild year round.

Weather in Florence

Best Place(s) to Stay:

Florence is a perfect walking city, nothing is too far away and you want to avoid having to take taxis. For me, staying in the city center of Florence is important. I like to skip the hotel breakfast and head to a local cafe for a pastry and cappuccino with the locals. The experience of breakfast in a cafe is memorable and addicting, as are the chocolate pastries! Here are my Florence hotel favorites:

Lungarno Hotel: The Lungarno is on the River Arno. From some of the rooms you will feel like you can actually  reach out and touch the Ponte Vecchio. The Lungarno has multiple properties with different prices ranges and locations. There is one to fit every taste and budget.

The Savoy: Located on my favorite square in Florence. The Savoy sits directly on the Piazza Repubblica about a block or two from the famous Duomo. This is a five star, ultra luxurious property where you can always expect the best.

JK Place: The hippest boutique hotel in Florence is the JK. Don’t expect a traditional Italian decor. This place is as funky as it gets.

Best Place to Eat:

Food in Italy can never be bad, especially in Tuscany! The olive oil that you’ll taste here is like nothing you’ve ever experienced. The one thing I love about Italy is that the restaurants only use the freshest ingredients. The result is once again perfection.

La Giostra: All I really have to say is that during my last trip to Florence, I ate at this restaurant 4 times. It’s my personal favorite for ambiance, food, unique EVERYTHING! If you go to Florence and skip this restaurant, you will be making a HUGE mistake. This little dark restaurant is owned and operated by a father-son team who just happen to be Hapsburg Lorena princes. Everything on the menu is delicious and cooked to perfection!

Best Place to Splurge:

Shopping in Florence is obviously amazing. The tiniest of children look like they had a stylist put together their daily attire. One of my favorite things to do is go with my husband for a custom made Italian shirt, or two, or three!

Simone Abbarchi: Simone is the best of the best. He is a true tailor, and knows the ins and outs of designing the perfect men’s shirt or suit. You pick the material, color, buttons, collar, cuffs…everything. It’s a fun experience. He’s so amazing that he customizes the shirt down to allowing room on the cuff that you wear your watch so it fits just perfectly.

Ph: +39 055 210552

# # # #

Want the The Secret List: Florence? It’ll be available here soon.

You can finally take the Canadian flag off your suitcase!

In 1993…

I traveled to Russia as a Student Ambassador for the USA. We were treated like royalty and the Russians were excited to be meeting an American. I traveled again in 1996 to Greece and Italy. The same reception was given. Our money was like gold everywhere we went. Being American overseas felt amazing. It felt like America was the really cool older sibling that other countries looked up to and wanted to emulate.

Fast forward to 2004….

Between 2004 and 2008, Rob and I have traveled to Europe, Africa, Central and South America. The feeling of being an American overseas felt like being the red-headed step child instead of the cool older sibling (no offense to red headed step-children, I think you’re beautiful). For the first time in my travel life I felt a chilly reception around the world. Not that I need the red carpet rolled out because I’m an American and no, I don’t believe that our country is perfect. However, this is the only time in my life that I have witnessed our flag being burned or have seen “F*ck the USA” graffiti oversees (and it’s not like I was in the Middle East).

Whatever your views or political affiliation is, you can not deny that traveling the world as an American has changed over the last six years. We’ve all heard of travelers claiming Canadian citizenship to avoid aggressive behavior. Personally, we don’t do that, we’re honest about our citizenship, but I can understand why some may not want to be.

We were no longer greeted by people asking questions about living in America and telling us that they wish they could move to America. No matter which country we were in, now matter who we meet, we always received one question, “Do you like President Bush?”. We’ve been asked in Rio de Janeiro, Punta del Este, Mykonos, Santorini, Marbella, Mexico, Marrakech and all over Italy. Both Rob and I have been traveling the world for many years, yet we had never received the assault of questions from foreigners before regarding our President and our political views.

Fast Forward to Tuesday November 4, 2008…

When Obama was named President-Elect on Tuesday night, I watched as the news showed the overwhelming joyous reactions from Grant Park. It was a huge display and an undeniably proud and historic moment for our country regardless of who you personally voted for. But when they began showing the viewing parties from around the world in places like Italy, Brazil, England, Africa and Australia I was in awe. It looked like the New Year’s Eve news coverage when they show the fireworks from the major cities around the globe. I watched as the foreign countries cheered, hugged and screamed for OUR country. Honestly, I cried. I felt like at that exact moment, something changed and we were let back into the club. The fact our country has risen above a history of ignorance and racial prejudice and overwhelmingly voted an African-American into the White House shows the world that we are a changed America.

Much remains to been seen and our new President will have to earn the respect of the world. But, if election night was a predictor of how the international image of America can change, then it’s finally time to take the Canadian flag off those suitcases!

Top Eleven Jet Setter Must-Reads

Reading can be a great escape, expand your knowledge or life altering. The right book can inspire your imagination to be come your reality or help you solve a nagging problem in your life. Jet Setters have lots of time to read while in flight, on a train and especially lounging on the beach or by the pool. So, here are my favorite eleven jet setter must-read books to pack in your Tumi carry-on. There is a nice mix of travel, enjoyment and personal growth. These are in no particular order (except maybe putting Bill Mahr after the Playboy bunny, that seemed appropriate).

____________________________________________________________________________________

The Reluctant Tuscan: How I Discovered My Inner Italian

by Phil Doran

Culturally Entertaining

This is a very well written book about the experiences of a couple from L.A. that transplant themselves into the Italian culture. Similar to “Under the Tuscan Sun”, this is based on the real life of an expat in Italy. You’ll be laughing (probably out loud) as one thing leads to another and they find themselves renovating a 300 year old farmhouse in the middle of Tuscany. If you’ve ever experienced the red-tape and quirky cultural norms of the Italians, then you will especially appreciate this book. Having been married in Italy, I can tell you that it is all true! Sometimes, you just have to laugh when bad gets worse.

____________________________________________________________________________________

The Last Lecture

by Randy Pausch

A Life Changing Book

“We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand.” –Randy Pausch

If you haven’t seen the video of Randy Pausch last lecture then you must be living under a rock. This is the single most tear jerking, yet inspiring story of how delicate life truly is and a reminder to live your life NOW!

____________________________________________________________________________________

Sand in My Bra and Other Misadventures: Funny Women Write from the Road (Travelers’ Tales)

by Various Funny Women

A Collection of Humorous Travel Stories

With story authors like Ellen DeGeneres, it’s not hard to see why this book is hard to put down. It’ll make you rethink about all of your own travel mishaps and how when you look back, they are really very funny. This is the perfect book to read on the beach because each story is only a couple pages long, so you can take a refreshing dip in the water in between the travel tales.

____________________________________________________________________________________

Eat, Pray, Love: One Woman’s Search for Everything Across Italy, India and Indonesia

by Elizabeth Gilbert

When Happily Ever After Comes to an End

This book took the world by storm. Women can relate to the emotions, hardships and excitement of Elizabeth’s journey to truly finding herself through travel. She shows you that there is life after divorce, but you have to find it because it’s not going to find you. It’s about finding your inner strength, finding yourself and ultimately finding true happiness. Definitely a chick book.

____________________________________________________________________________________

Skinny Bitch

by Rory Freedman & Kim Barnouin

The Tough Truth About Food

This is an in your face, shut up and sit down book about finally learning the truth about the foods you eat. It swings vegan for sure, but if you’re not ready to give up on your meat, it’s okay. There’s plenty of other information on food that you can apply to your diet. It’s a fun, easy read. When is the last time you heard of a vegan book topping the NY Times Best Sellers list? My point exactly.

____________________________________________________________________________________

La Bella Figura: A Field Guide to the Italian Mind

by Beppe Severgnini

A Comical Look at Italia

Everything in Italy is dramatic and emotional. I love it. Once Rob and I found ourselves at a four-way stop sign in Naples, Italy. However, no one was stopping. I was sure my life would end in that moment. If only I had read this book prior. This book gives you a look into the mind of the Italian. Be warned that once you get into their mind, you may never return:)

____________________________________________________________________________________

The Way Of The Superior Man:

by David Deida

Man’s Guide to Actually Becoming a Real Man

Ask a woman to name male celebrities she’s most attracted to and all the usual suspects show up: Johnny Depp, Al Pacino, Sean Connery etc… Why? It’s not their looks, it’s not their bank accounts, it’s their masculinity. Masculine men are confident, driven and live from their deepest core. It’s time to take off those superman underoos and man-up. BTW, being masculine doesn’t mean being a jerk, that’s a common misconception. For men only.

____________________________________________________________________________________

Vagabonding:

by Rolf Potts

Choosing The Road Less Chosen

If vagabonding was an Olympic sport then Rolf Potts would be it’s Michael Phelps. In this book, Rolf gives you advice on how to find your independence and live each day on it’s own merit. Even for the Jet Setter there is a lot to be learned. The style of travel is different, but the desire, passion and core is the same. We all want an experience to remember regardless if it’s on a shoestring or with a private yacht.

____________________________________________________________________________________

The 4-Hour Workweek:

by Tim Ferriss

Flips Your World Upside Down

It’s no shocker that Tim’s book makes my list. Tim inspires you to stop living 9-5 with one weeks vacation and find out what you REALLY want to do with your life. He gives you great tips on how to outsource the crap you don’t want to do and earn an income that will support you lifestyle as you live your passion. Stop procrastinating and complaining about your bank account or your cubical, and do something about it.

* Read Rob’s interview with Tim here.

____________________________________________________________________________________

Bunny Tales: Behind Closed Doors at the Playboy Mansion

by Izabella St. James

Voyeuristic Mindless Entertainment

Hugh’s platinum blond, almost-a-lawyer, ex-girlfriend lets you inside the gates of the Playboy mansion. Discover the ins and outs of the life of a “girlfriend”. It’s not as glamorous as you may think (or maybe it is). Beware, there are some parts of the book that will give you mental pictures you probably didn’t want and that you will never be able to erase.You won’t become enlightened, but you will be entertained!

____________________________________________________________________________________

New Rules: Polite Musings from a Timid Observer

by Bill Mahr

The Things You Wish You Had the Balls to Say

Bill Mahr tackles every topic that your Mom told you never to discuss over dinner, and makes New Rules for the things that bother him the most. Whether you agree or disagree you can’t deny that he is hysterical. I personally love this book on audio, Bill reads it himself, so it’s more like a stand-up comedy routine.

____________________________________________________________________________________

Hopefully you’ll hit the closest Barnes & Noble or log onto Amazon to find my picks!

Ciao!

The Amero vs. The Euro

The Amero

I was standing in line at my local American Express Travel office waiting to exchange my US dollars for that damn Euro. As if I’m not already mad enough because I know that as soon as I had over my little green friends, I’m loosing money. “Ugh, this sucks” I say to the American Express rep as she tells me the exchange rate. Then out of no where this random guy next to me says, “Think it sucks now, just wait until you’re exchanging the Amero!”. “The Amero? What the heck is an Amero?” I asked. He preceded to ramble about the U.S., Canada and Mexico all joining forces to become the North American Union, obviously modeling it after the European Union. I thought either he’s the smartest guy in the world, or a crazy lunatic. So, I did some research and found that currently the Amero is a conspiracy theory with some possible truths.

The opinions on the Amero are so widespread and the topic itself is very controversial. Some believe that if the three nations were to adopt the Amero, it would be able to eliminate the threat of other regional currencies (the Euro, and possible Asian and/or African currencies) and provide stability of the local currency. Also, it’s believed that our dollar would strengthen against the other currencies in the world. Some claim that the U.S., Canada and Mexico would then adopt a similar open border policy as they do in the EU. However, others believe that the Mexican peso will “drag down” the U.S. and Canadian dollars and the Amero would be in a worse position than the the current U.S. Dollar is in right now. And with the U.S. currently building a “wall” between the US and Mexico, it seems that the borders will not have that open border policy.

Hmmmm….So many theories, so little time. What are your thoughts?

Learning to live your life on your own terms.

The back of the uniform shirt of a hair stylist in Florence, Italy.

Europe stole my heart many years ago. It’s what excites my heart and fills my soul. It’s hard getting back into life in the States when you’ve been overseas for a while. It’s hard re-adjusting to the American way of life. This eating dinner before 8pm, fast paced, goal oriented and never stopping to smell the roses, American life. I love America and I love being an American, but I just wish we adopted more than espresso and a few foreign actors. I wish we adopted their passion for life, the ability to truly admire beauty and the desire for life-enrichment without materialism. That last part probably sounds like bullshit coming from a girl who’s blog is titled “My Jet Set Life”, but it’s not. I’ll take family, friends and culture over Prada and I’ll choose  traveling 10 times a year over the big suburban house with a giant mortgage any day.

A few days ago I went to see the new Woody Allen film, Vicky Cristina Barcelona, which describes this difference between American and European cultures amazingly. Without ruining the movie, let me just say you’ll watch a dance between the two cultures through a typically Woody Allen love-octagon. You can feel the passion of the foreign born actors, Penelope Cruz and Javier Bardem, cut through you like a knife. The American actors such as Scarlet Johnasson were wonderful, but couldn’t get to the same depth as their European counterparts. Watching this film made me miss Europe. It made me miss the deep culture and fiery passion that is just innate on the other side of the pond. It made me miss their desire to truly live each and every day filled with passion.

Sadly, the closest thing we have to Europe in the States is Starbucks. It’s one of the only places that’ll give you even a slight feel of the European culture on a day to day basis. I’m not fooled by the Italian drink names and thought of a Barista making my tea; it’s still very American with it’s sugary venti frappa-whatevers. (Did you ever notice the people drinking a venti anything are usually a little on the venti-side themselves?) But I do enjoy the sudo-relaxed culture that Starbucks creates. I’m actually in Starbucks now as I type this blog. I’m wishing it was filled with the lovely sounds of ceramic cups and saucers clinging and locals chatting passionately over the topic du jour. Instead, I’m overhearing the latest Multi-Level Marketing presentation at the next table, watching a frustrated man type feverishly on his laptop and the Barista pushing the latest “no sugar added, no fructose but still full of fat muffin”. I want to just scream, “Hey people, there’s more to life than working non-stop and satisfying a sweet tooth”. I want to walk around handing out Tim Ferriss’s 4HWW to everyone in hopes that they’ll develop a muse to fill their bank accounts, so they can stop living the deferred life plan. But, instead of being the crazy lady in Starbucks, I choose to vent (not to be confused with venti) through my blog. I just wish that more Americans would forget chasing the typical American dream (which usually ends in high debt and preventable illnesses) and start living their life now.

Here are my 5 favorite life lessons that will truly help you LIVE:

1. Steve Jobs: If you wake up and don’t love what you’re doing on that particular day and that happens too many days in a row, then you are doing the wrong thing.

2. Will Smith: The Key to Life is Running & Reading. Running – because learning to defeat the little voice inside that is telling you to stop, will teach you that you can overcome anything. Reading – because any problem you have has been had, solved and written about by someone else.

3. Tim Ferriss: Find a muse to earn the income you need to do what you really love to do and get off the deferred life plan. (You’ll know you’re on the deferred life plan if you find yourself saying this sentence to yourself “I will finally be happy when ______”.)

4. David Deida: Masculine & Feminine energy have a place in each of us. Learn to balance them in yourself and stay true to your core (example: women stay feminine) and learn to understand this energy in others (example: allow your man his time in the cave).

5. Tony Robbins: Gratitude & Laughter. The first thing you should do when your feet hit the floor each morning is give gratitude. You get one life, how you live it is your choice. Learn to laugh in the face of adversity. Know that everything happens just the way it’s supposed to, so learn to enjoy it. Be grateful for the gifts you are given, especially the bad ones because they always come with a good lesson and a silver lining.

I look forward to your comments. Ciao!

Kimberly

The Last Lecture & My Jet Set Life

Thankfully, I was raised by parents that gave me the ability to make my own choices in life, even at a young age. By their examples, they indirectly taught me to follow my heart and my passions. Because of my parents, I’ve always been a passion person, first with gymnastics and then leadership. Thankfully, in eighth grade it became travel with a three week trip to Russia with People to People. That’s where I first got the bug for travel, culture and exploring how other people lived. My parents were brilliant, they guiding me and allowed me to have these experiences that would truly change the path of my life, and (as usual) they were right.

People can look at how I live my life in one of two ways; either it’s a shallow existence with expensive hotels, posh dinners and new veneers or you could see that I’m living my life, a life I designed around my passions and my childhood dreams. My hope is that you see it’s the latter of the two.

Here is a story of a terrific man, an inspiring teacher, a doting husband and a role model of a father that followed his heart, his passion and in the end, literally accomplished all of his childhood dreams. And now, leaves his legacy to the world, his students and most importantly, his children.

Randy Pausch was a professor of Computer Science at Carnegie Mellon. He delivered the annual “Last Lecture” in September of 2007 to a packed house. The name of the lecture had more meaning to him than any one else because he was dying of cancer and only had 3-6 months to live. The lessons that he learned in his all too short life seem like a compilation of The Secret, Tony Robbins and even Tim Ferriss. Maybe he read these books or saw these lectures, but I have a feeling this was just who he was as a person.

You may ask, what does The Last Lecture have to do with My Jet Set Life. That’s easy. It’s about passion, accomplishing your childhood dreams, enabling others to accomplish their dreams and of course about life lessons learned along the way. Not to get on a soap box, but I consider myself a child of the world. I love the cultures, the history and more than anything, the people that I meet in other countries. For me, Randy Pausch solidified my desire to have a muse that I LOVE; and never give up on my dreams and goals, no matter how big or small; to realize that the experience you’ll get from trying to obtain your goals is your real gift. He reminded me of all the things I know deep inside, but maybe get lost among the clutter of everyday life, like gratitude and karma. He talks about the brick walls that you’ll come up against when trying to accomplish a dream or goal. He says that brick walls are designed to show you how badly you want something. I really believe that the brick walls in your life are what make you who you are.

Personally, our company Jet Set Life is the legacy that we want to leave the world. Our travels have inspired us to live a better more well rounded life, worldwide. From our travels we’ve learned to enjoy a cup of coffee with friends and truly live in the moment. Our ultimate dream is that people will follow our lead and become inspired to live life now and find a way to get off the deferred life plan. To stop allowing the brick walls of life to come between you and your life, your passions and your childhood dreams. Hence, “Excuses are over. It’s time to live!”. I think we’re on the same page as Randy Pausch and are thankful for his final lecture.

For me, I believe that everything, good or bad happens for a reason. Even the recent passing of Randy Pausch at the early age of 47 years old, happened for a reason (by the way, he lived almost a year instead of the 3-6 months that doctors gave him). I believe the reason was so this lecture would be seen worldwide and the world would be a better place because of this one man. Here’s the lecture, please watch it to the end including the minute and a half of the standing ovation. Get your Kleenex, a pad of paper and take it all in. Enjoy!

Getting Married in Positano, Italy.

Getting married in Italy is a dream come true, a real fairy tail. However, the legal part of being truly married in Italy is so difficult even Tom & Katie didn’t do it legally. But we did!

My husband and I are both US Citizens who just happen to have a love-affair with Italy. My perfect husband proposed to me in the most perfect way, in the Duomo (pictured above) in Positano, Italy. We decided that we’d go back to Positano almost a year later to have our perfect Italian wedding.

Planning the Wedding

To us, Positano is the most picturesque place in the world. There is no venue that could compete with the mountain of multi-colored houses piled on top of each other in Positano set against the marine blue of the sea. In Positano for your marriage to be legal, you must be actually married at Town Hall. Of course, you can have another spiritual ceremony at another location, however this ancient town hall has a large terrace where you can hold your ceremony. Which is exactly what we did.

Making it Legal: The hardest part of planning my wedding was the paperwork and the “red tape” involved in making my wedding legal. I really didn’t want to have to get married in the US and then just have a spiritual or symbolic ceremony in Italy. I wanted that Italian wedding license! So, I called every government agency that I could find and make a checklist of exactly what I had to do. (I’ve included my checklist and all the contacts & details in my step by step guide!)

THE DRESS

Destination weddings mean you need a dress that can withstand the planes, trains and automobiles of getting there. I found a fantastic designer, Winnie Couture, that offers “destination dresses”. Currently, I am actually featured on their Winnie Brides section.

THE RECEPTION

Our reception was held on the balcony of the most beautiful hotel in the world, Le Sirenuse. Here we had a sunset reception with Bellinis, Hot and Cold Canape (which basically is hot and cold finger foods, it took me months to understand it!) Also, they made our cake which was the most amazing cake I have ever tasted in my life. The staff of this should-be ten-million star hotel is attentive and made every aspect of our reception perfect!

THE DINNER

Following the reception we had a typical Italian dinner at a local restaurant called Chez Black on the Positano beach. You may recognize this restaurant from Under the Tuscan Sun, the scene where she’s sipping limoncello on the beach with the Italian man. Black himself was very gracious and really took care of our party. You’ll notice that the walls are lined with celebrity photos. This is place to eat in Positano!

THE PHOTOGRAPHER

Regardless of where you get married in italy, there is only one photographer you should ever consider using, Camera Chiara. They are AMAZING! they will capture every single detail of your wedding no matter how large or how small! They are SOOOOO worth every dime! And they are not as expensive as american photographers and you get a a leather bound hand made traditional italian wedding album, PLUS: a CD of EVERY Digital Image, ALL Negatives, yep, ALL of them and you can make as many reprints as you want!

THE LITTLE ODDS AND ENDS

Invitations and Thank You Cards: The Amalfi Coast is known for making handmade paper. You can find beautiful Invitations and Thank You Cards at (currently searching for the name). You can also order a custom wax stamp with your initials and the wax color that coordinates with your wedding!

Flowers: There are plenty of small flower shops. For just a bouquet and corsages you won’t need more than a few days notice. In fact, I ordered my bouquet of Lily’s just a day before the wedding and it was only about 20 euros!

Beautiful Italian Women vs. Cute American Women

How many times have you heard two girls say “You look cute” when they greet each other. Ummm….how about every time! And it sounds really meaningful doesn’t it? You look cute. Women in the US are afraid to be beautiful, but cute, that’s okay! And even worse, they are afraid of other women being beautiful! It’s alright, you can be honest, you are one of them. Don’t worry, there is hope for you!

For some unknown reason to me, it seems like beautiful women aren’t credible or maybe they are just intimidating. And if you’re non-intimidating in your appearance, then maybe you are more credible. Let’s compare our typical female US reporters like Katie Couric to French reporter Melissa Theuriau. Now, no knock to Katie and I’m not saying all reporters should be hot, I’m just saying that beauty is appreciated in other cultures and frowned upon in the US. If anything, being beautiful can be a curse. (I know, I know, it’s important to be beautiful on the inside…but folks, we’re only talking on the outside here!)

This is not the case in countries that I’ve traveled to like Italy, France, Argentina and Brazil. The women in these countries use the word beautiful to describe other women. It’s a breath of fresh air to me. For Italian women for example everything is “bella, bella, bella”. They have no “charge” with another women’s beauty, if anything it inspires them.

Remember the last time you where at a party, night club, restaurant, and a truly beautiful feminine woman walked in, I mean a real knock out, what happened to the room. It got all F&@%-up didn’t it! My guess? Well, the men felt a “pull” from the feminine energy, it’s okay girls, men can appreciate a womans beauty without wanting to always get her in the sack! And the women most likely started sizing her up and made some judgment about her, maybe it was her shoes, outfit, hairstyle or even lip gloss…something has to be wrong with this beautiful woman and it’s every other woman’s job to find that something…or so they think.

Now, here’s what would happen in Italy. A beautiful feminine woman walks into the restaurant. The men feel it and check her out, and the women are likely to say something either to themselves or out load about how beautiful she is….not she’s cute…not I hate her shoes (unless of course the beautiful woman is from southern Italy and the girl judging is from Milan, in that case she would definitely hate her shoes!)…in any other case she’d probably just say , bella.

We, the US women, need to learn from the Italians, French and all other cultures that appreciate and expect beauty. I love traveling to places where beauty is appreciated, respected and sometimes expected. It’s nice to get out of the sweats and t-shirt philosophy of the US and put on a nice pair of 4 inch heels for dinner.

Think about it…would you rather be called beautiful or cute? Beautiful! And guess what, so would every other girl on the planet. It’s more meaningful. So, next time you see a beautiful woman walk into a room, acknowledge her beauty and maybe smile at her kindly instead of prejudging. And the next time you see your friend, tell her she looks beautiful…don’t be afraid.

Who said the only learning you do while traveling is about the Roman ruins? I love to learn from the other cultures, ya know the ones that have been around hundreds of years longer than our young little USA. Think of us as a preteen and Europe as the cool older cousin that taught us “the facts of life”. Learn from them, and don’t be afraid to kiss on both cheeks from now on!

Thanks for listening…

Kimberly Murgatroyd