Domani: Why I Want To Live In Italy

20110119 025033 Domani: Why I Want To Live In Italy

There’s a word that the Italians use all the time. “Domani”. And now Kim and I have adopted it. In fact, we love this word so much, that we use it all the time. “Domani”, “Domani”, “Domani”! What’s “Domani” mean you ask? Well, it literally means “tomorrow”. So, what’s the big whoop? Why is saying “tomorrow” such a big deal to the Italians?

To understand this we have to dig a bit deeper into WHY we DON’T use it (as often) as our vino-loving friends. Let’s start here. We have a saying in America, “Why put off to tomorrow what you could do today”. Fair enough right? Get it done. Isn’t that a good thing? I would argue that we’re paying a price for that way of thinking.

Let’s talk about how the Italians changed the quote around to make it more “molte bene”, “Why do today what you could easily do tomorrow”? I know, I know, lot’s of thoughts going on in that Cafe Americano cerebellum of yours. If you just tilted your head like a puppy who just heard a high pitched sound, let me help you out here.

As with everything in life there is a price to be paid. The Italians, with all 2000 years of history behind them, have learned a thing or two about life. They’ve realized that there are MORE important things in life that need to be “done” first. They understand that there is ALWAYS something that “needs” to be done today, but there are only so many moments in life to be embraced. And, if we do whatever the “it’s gotta be done” de jour is, we will likely miss out on “La Dolce Vita” (the sweetness of life).

The word “Domani” literally means “tomorrow”. But, what it REALLY means to the Italians is to live for today. This is super hard for us to understand. We are a get s**t done culture. Please understand, that this is NOT about laziness. The Italians know how to get stuff done. They’ve made some pretty cool… Ahem…statues, coliseums and um… other stuff.

This is about embracing that ticking clock. Enjoying the moments that pass us by so quickly in life. It’s about TAKING the time to stop and enjoy what’s happening around you, instead if letting it go by. I think down deep we really know this in our gut.

Here’s an example. Starbucks (where I am right now), was created to embrace the cafe culture of Italy. They tried to nail down all the nuances. From calling the cup sizes Italian names like “Venti” to the person who makes your coffee a “barrista”. But in my view…it ain’t a cafe in Italy.

To my left I have an Amway guy doing a flip book presentation…to my right I have two guys typing feverishly on their lap tops and in between the both of them I have a woman who just ordered a (get this) “Trenta Caramel Frappacino” (it’s the new Starbucks version of the big gulp- really ). No one, at least that I can see, is really spending a quality moment enjoying life with a friend or having a conversation about art, culture or philosophy.

The Italians have come to understand that you need to make the time for the important stuff… an evening “Passeggiata” (leisurely strolls that are taken arm and arm with loved ones nightly across Italy)….sitting in front of a fountain eating amazing gelato with a friend… simply sitting and watching people go by…listening to the sounds of a child’s laughter….or just taking the time to read a non-business book for 30 minutes in the middle of the day.

So, at some point today, you will have a perfect opportunity to either say… let’s do it now or simply say “Domani”. It’s your choice. What will it be?

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capri guide book banner Domani: Why I Want To Live In Italy

 

The Gratitude Solution

photo 1024x577 The Gratitude Solution

We all have so much to be grateful for in our lives. All we really have to do is stop for a second and think about it. But, if you’re having trouble, here’s a great trick. Make a list of all the experiences that you’ve had– that you LOVE. The more you LOVE the experience-the better! I’ve compiled a list of my own to give you an example. Enjoy!

1. My first fitness competition.

2. My first time hang gliding in Rio.

3. Getting my first tattoo at 40 years old (at LA Ink).

4. My wife makes me laugh hysterically

5. I like to party until the sun comes up on the Greek Islands.

6. It’s not pretty when I’m hungover.

7. Getting sprayed with a big bottle of champagne in Spain.

8. Even with tango lessons in Buenos Aires I still can’t dance.

9. Singing Michael Jackson tunes in an ice bar in St(insert a period here).

17. Racing cars in Baja.

18. The first time I ever walked a model runway.

19. Partying at Nikki beach in the South of France.

20. Finding weird things when I travel.

21. Swimming in the blue Grotto in Capri.

22. The reason I would love to live in Southern California.

23. Learning lessons about simple pleasures in life from my friends in Europe (even if they don’t know I’m watching).



Getting My Ass Handed To Me By Chris Haddad

 Getting My Ass Handed To Me By Chris Haddad

I recently got my ass handed to me in an interview I did with world famous copywriter Chris Haddad.  Ok, maybe that’s a slight exaggeration, but it did sting a bit.  Chris is one of those genius guys, the kind that can write the most amazing sales copy you’ve ever read.  Just for sport, and if you’re chosen, he will critique your sales letter.  Chris agreed to critique mine and I agreed to allow him to record it for the world to see.  This process was about as fun as a root canal.  Here’s an example of the maestro in action.

One of the questions that Chris asked me (which is the crux of this entire post) was, “Who are you writing this sales letter to?”  In other words, who is Jet Set Life’s target market demographic?  I quickly responded that we have two market demos.  The Jet Setter who buys our Secret List and the aspirational Jet Setter who joins our Muse Membership (our discussion was about the muse membership page).

Chris then asked me to describe the person as if he or she were sitting in front of me.  Exactly who would he be and what would he want? I said that he we would probably be a 30 year old guy working in a cubicle that is married with two kids living in the suburbs, that hates his job and wants to live a jet set life.  Sounds perfect, right?  Sure, except for one thing, my wife didn’t agree.  So, I began to investigate.  Did you ever have one of those things that gets under your skin and you just can’t stop thinking about it?  Well, this was exactly that such thing for me. I went back and reviewed a few of the emails I received from new members of Secrets of Successful Muses.  I wanted to look for clues to who they were and what they were after.  Eventually, after much digging, I found that I didn’t know what the hell I was talking about!  I had no basis to draw those original conclusions.  I just assumed them.  And yes, I was wrong!


My search found a commercial airline pilot, an aerospace design engineer and a painter.  Not one of them worked in a cubicle.  In fact, many of them were serious professionals.  What did they all have in common?  They were all tired of swapping hours for dollars and wanted more. The “more” part is what they (we) all had in common.

I realized that everyone who is into having a jet set life wants the same thing.  To have time and money to do what they love – travel.  We can create all the videos and guidebooks of the all the jet set sexiest places on the planet, but if you don’t have those two currencies, time and money, you’re going to be watching from the sidelines.

I realized that the Jet Setters that I had been reaching out to is not who I thought they were.  Woops, talk about a big mistake.

So, let me hear from you.  Who are you?  Step forward and identify yourself.  Dramatic, I know.  Reach back out to me in the comment section and tell me who you are and what you’re after so I can create what you want and need.  Then, hopefully next summer, we’ll be sipping a cool glass of rosé together while gazing out at the Aegean.

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On another note, we’re going to do a Jet Set Life get together in Florence, Italy on New Year’s Eve.  If you want to be added to the list, add your name and email in the comment section.

Confessions of a Jet Setter: The courage to design the life you want

Follow Rob (and Kim) on Twitter here.

dsc02385 2 300x225 Confessions of a Jet Setter: The courage to design the life you want

I receive letters everyday from around the world for all sorts of things.  This particular letter just really stuck out for me and I wanted to share it with you (with Billy’s permission).  Rather than making comments on the letter I decided to let it stand on its own and listen to your comments.  As I believe this letter will resonate differently with different people.  As Mike Myers in coffee tawk says – Discuss!

Hey Rob,

Just wanted to drop you a quick to say thanks.  I’ve watched your site for a while but resisted taking the plunge in making a change to my own lifestyle.

Read 4HR WW a long time ago and tossed it aside… In fact I noticed some of my employees all of a sudden putting “out-of-office” responders on and I lost it on them (my best line must have been does Bill @#% Gates have an auto responder on!).

Anyways I’ve been making high 6 figures for a long time, traveled the world on business, and have all the toys I get to look at in my garage when I left my million dollar home (very early) in the morning on my way to a job I hated.

I sat down about two months or so ago and read every single blog item you had on your site and pulled a Richard Branson and said “screw it let’s do it”.

I parted ways with my partners, left a big pay check behind, and have started my NR quest. Scared out of my freakin mind but determined to figure it out (and convince my family I am not nuts).

Anyways wanted to say thanks. I am a Jet Setter at heart, have a worldwide rolodex, and have partied and stayed in some of the coolest locations but none of it compares to the sense of excitement about building a real lifestyle for me and my family.

All these NR guy’s I’ve seen online looked like a bunch of hokey computer geeks flogging crap info products (I know… unfounded opinions on my part may I add), however I find you cool and inspiring.

See you at some jet-set location in the near future!

Regards,

Billy

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Lessons From an Italian Doctor: Break Out Of The American Numb Zone and Embrace Your Passion

dr fiorintino2 1024x766 Lessons From an Italian Doctor: Break Out Of The American Numb Zone and Embrace Your Passion

Dr Michael Fiorintini witnessing our wedding docs in Positano, Italy

I wouldn’t say we are passionless as Americans, because we’re not, but, I would say we can be numb.  There, I said it.  Let me explain myself  before I get the e-mails.  I was having lunch with a friend of mine at Chez Black on the Amalfi Cost in Italy.  We were discussing some cultural differences between our two countries.

He’s a physician and native of Italy who just wanted to understand what we were all so depressed about in America.  I said, “What do you mean depressed”? He said, “Almost every American tourist that I see as a patient notes on their history that there taking anti-depressants.  I know that they’re not all chemically imbalanced or bipolar because in every case I’ve asked if a blood test was taken to diagnose and it never was.”

He went on to explain, “In Italy if we love you, we LOVE you, if we hate you, we HATE you.  There’s not much middle ground.  If we are happy we laugh and cheer, if we’re angry, we cry and yell.  In America, if you get too high you’re manic (and you take something to mellow you), if you get too low you’re depressed (and you take something else raise you).  In Italy, we call that happy and sad.  Those are good things.  Feeling really happy and really sad are emotions that serve us and allow us to respond to appropriately.  They are not emotions that need to be medicated, they need to be felt. You have so many things to be happy about, what’s the problem?”

It really got me thinking.  Is he right?  I think he is.  How passionate are we really about life?  Do our cars embody the passion of a Ferrari? Does American food have the assault on our senses that real Italian food does?  Do we appreciate the beauty of woman like our Italian counter parts (or do we just want to hit it)?  Are we so passionate about our sporting events that we can’t even be let in the same entrances as the opposing team?  In my opinion, the answer to all of the questions above is:  nope.

I say excuses are over.  It’s time to live!  Let’s get out of the numb zone and live like we mean it.  Live like we really mean it.  Live like tomorrow isn’t promised, because……it’s not.  Let’s take a hat tip from my friend, the Italian doctor, in Amalfi and find out what we love to do and begin living La Dolce Vita!

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Lose Your Story: Using the Dickens Pattern with Tony Robbins at Date with Destiny

tony robbins 300x225 Lose Your Story: Using the Dickens Pattern with Tony Robbins at Date with Destiny

Post by Robert Murgatroyd Follow me on Twitter.

There’s the flat tire and then there’s the STORY about the flat tire. Look, we all have our stories; there really just isn’t any way of getting around that. If we’re human and breathing, we have one. The question is how much does it get in the way of our life?

O.K. I’ll go first. “I’m just a short kid from Queens, from blue collar parents, so I’ll never amount to anything.” That was my story for years. The weird part about that was, I never realized that I thought about myself that way until I did an excercise called the Dickens Process at a recent Tony Robbins Date with Destiny seminar.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not looking to get all Freudian on you here. The truth, if I’m honest, is that the ‘story’ I was carrying around definitely affected how I filtered many decisions in my life. We all have our stories about why we can’t create the things we really want.  Most of those stories are total bullshit and should have been shot dead a long time ago, but, sadly are still driving us. Imagine trying to drive a car using your rear view mirror. Not so easy. Back to the Dickens Process.

The Dickens Process

While it’s really tough for me to describe this 5 hour process in a few paragraphs I’ll do my best:

The Dickens pattern is a fairly straight forward process. It’s a take off, a metaphor if you will, on the Charles Dickens story, A Christmas Carol. This part of this intense process is actually kind of fun. With your workbook in your hand, while listening to pounding rock concert thumping music in your chest, Tony guides you through a series of tough introspective questions.

These questions are designed to help discover a set of beliefs you may have around why you haven’t achieved what you want. Strangely, everything I had written down, during the first step of this process, completely rang true for me and was totally shocking all at the same time. The good news was simply having the awareness of these beliefs was really enough for me to begin making a shift.

But, If you know anything about this 7 foot tall Neanderthal they call Tony Robbins you know that he was not going to let me stop there. Charles Dickens was going to be reerected right before my eyes and have his way with my cerebellum if Tony  had anything to do with it.

The Ghost of Christmas Past

Now comes the freaky, scary and honestly weird (but extraordinarily effective) part. Tony guides you through a much more difficult process of imagining what your life would be like if you continued on with these beliefs 5, 10 and even 15 years into the future. This is a heart pounding process, scored with intense music, that Tony again guides you through. Asking you questions like “What will having these beliefs do to your relationships with your spouse, children and friends 5, 10, 15 years in the future”? The goal being to feel all the pain that that brings you. “How has having these beliefs affected your body”? “What’s your health like because of these beliefs”? “Are you sick and broken down or full of life and alive because of these beliefs”? VERY intense and he will have you scared sh**-less about NOT changing.

The Ghost of Christmas Present

This next step is called the Ghost of Christmas Present. Ever wake up from a bad dream relieved that it didn’t really happen? That’s kind of what this part of the Dickens Process is like. You realize that it’s “Christmas morning” and none of these things have happened yet and that you have the opportunity to change everything. In Tony talk, this is the process of getting “leverage” on yourself. Which is what you need to create a lasting change.

The Ghost of Christmas Future

This is the best of all three parts of the the Dickens process. It’s basically the reverse of the first part. Where you get to go 5, 10, 15 years into the future with the old beliefs gone and visualizing what it would be like if you had these new beliefs instead. This part is a blast and very welcome emotionally.

Is this Hocus Pocus

Is this hocus pocus? I don’t know. Who cares. It worked! I’ll tell you this – I don’t feel like that short blue collar kid from Queens anymore (well maybe still short:-)

What Do You Think?

Have you been to Date with Destiny? Have you completed the Dickens Process (not everyone agrees to do it)? Love to hear you thoughts.

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Make Room For the New Jet Set in St Tropez This Summer

st tropez party Make Room For the New Jet Set in St Tropez This Summer

Jet Set Life St Tropez

St. Tropez has historically been the summer playground of the old monied Jet Set.  Not any longer.  The New Jet Set have arrived.  The difference between the two classes of Jet Setters on the surface may seem indistinguishable, but make no mistake they are very different.  One is concerned with making a bunch of cash and the other is concerned with creating an income that is automated, scalable and location independent.  Guess which one I’m after?

The Old Jet Set

The old Jet Set model has been primarily based around amassing a bunch of cash either through inheritence or a lifetime of hard work. Good old hard work and savings will produce cash, yes, but it has its price.  This deferred living model is flawed for many reasons.  The most evident of which is the state of our current economic crisis.  Fortunes are being lost over night and in many cases won’t ever be realized again.  Now, compare that to how the New Jet Set have things set up.

The New Jet Set

The New Jet Set (taking a hat tip from Tim Ferriss) has redefined Jet Set anew “A subculture of people who choose to live their life now, instead of deferring their dreams to later in life.  They have learned to leverage technology to create income, time and freedom……”. That’s it.  Right there.  ”They learned to leverage technology to create income, time and freedom.”

Leverage Technology and Create Income, Time and Freedom

We are in a new world.  We have CNN and Ashton Kutcher fighting it out for the top spot on Twitter.  Newspaper companies dropping like flys and grandma’s turning to Facebook to connect with their peeps.  We can’t look to the future using a rear view mirror any longer. Things are changed forever.  The information age isn’t coming – it’s here.  It’s time to leverage that technology, harness it and bend it to our favor.  The old model is d-e-a-d. Here’s something to consider.  Last night Kim and I were watching a 60 minutes report about the 401k collapse.  So many sad stories about peoples life savings gone, or almost gone, in the span of just a few short years.  Kim pointed out (brilliantly) that if all those nice folks had spent equal time in creating their muses as they did funding their 401k’s they would have a monthly income to access now.  No judgement here.  I really feel horrible for these families.  I’m not sayin’ I’m just sayin’.  What we’re really talking about is not focusing on the big pile of cash at the end of the rainbow, the defered life plan, but rather income now and savings second.  In NO way am I saying don’t save.  That’s stupid.  I’m saying work on creating income that is scalable, automatable and location independent FIRST!

Two Ways to Get to the Same Beach

Let’s get back to where I’m most comfortable.  The beach.  The same sexy beaches of the French Rivera will have two different people on it.  The ones who have stepped into this wonderful new world of leveragable, scalable, technology driven income and those who haven’t figured it out.  Save yourself the headache and the drama and get to work on figuring out how to create this for yourself.

Wanna Hang With Us in St. Tropez?

If you haven’t had the pleasure of kickin’ it with the best of them in St. Tropez – you owe it to yourself to check it out.  It is a surreal party that showcases living life like you have never seen.  Kim and I will be in St. Tropez for the month of July partying while our muses are ticking away generating income for champagne (and yes, to max out our retirement accounts as well – we do both)!

If you want your own muse and don’t know where to begin I have one recommendation that will take you from A-Z here.  This is absolutely the cutting edge in muse development.  This is NOT a crash course.  It’s definitely work to complete all 11 lessons, but well worth it.  If you’re even thinking about it you owe it to yourself to check it out.

If you already have your muse in place and will be in St. Tropez over the summer send us a Tweet here.  Try not to loose your shirt in these crazy economic times unless of course you’re in St. Tropez – then that would be a good thing :)

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st.tropez guide book banner Make Room For the New Jet Set in St Tropez This Summer


Tony Robbins Date with Destiny: Working on your jet set psychology

 

tony and sage robbins date with destiny 245x300 Tony Robbins Date with Destiny: Working on your jet set psychology

I’m a big believer in modeling successful people.  I do the best I can to surround myself with the right people and go as deep as I can in their work.  It’s not just enough for me to read a book or watch a video.  I want to spend time with them on a deeper level.  Discover their nuances, their strategies and how they think.  The challenge with this approach is that the more in demand the person is the harder it is to get access.

One of the guys I really wanted to spend an extended period of time with and go more ‘vertical’ with was Tony Robbins.  The first step I took was to take an Unlimited Power Weekend.  It’s his crazy over the top walk on hot coals (really) weekend.  It was fantastic and definitely changed me.  It’s a 3 day seminar that goes for 12 hours per day and you just about never sit down.  Imagine the best rock concert you have ever been to that you don’t want to end.

firewalk Tony Robbins Date with Destiny: Working on your jet set psychology

As much as I loved UPW I was left jonesin’ for more!  I decided to go a level deeper and sign up for Date with Destiny.  DWD is 12 hours a day for seven days with this lunatic!  And, it aint cheap -$5,495 per ticket.  When you do the math on two tickets (for me and Kim) with airfare and hotel it definitely becomes a ‘put your money where your mouth is’ kind of thing.  To give you a feel for who this guy is, here’s a snippet of Tony getting intense with Al Gore at the TED conference (it’s a great 20 min video but if you want to skip to the Al Gore part start at about minute 16).

There’s about 2000 people that show up for DWD.  When you cue up to register you’ll see a very well organized process that looks like a Broadway performance- dancers included.  The event begins that afternoon and includes people lining up at the doors to get a good seat hours before the event begins.  When the doors open you walk into a huge ballroom with 10,000 watts of music power banging into your chest.  You’ll find a dark room filled with smoke machines, rock concert worthy lighting in full tilt and everyone up on their chairs dancing.  This isn’t a “let’s wait until the third day of the event to let our hair down” kind of thing.  This is “let’s party” from the nano second you walk in the joint.

tony robbins rock cocert Tony Robbins Date with Destiny: Working on your jet set psychology

Prior to walking in the room I was trying to figure out how anyone could hold my attention for 12 hours a day for seven days in a row.  Now, I get it.  In fact, the seminar is so engaging that when you have to go to the bathroom you run as fast as you can and on your return ask the guy next to you what you missed.  There were days when I looked up at the clock and realized that it was 5 p.m. and we haven’t even stopped for lunch.  Here’s an example (from someone’s rogue video) of a ‘break’ at the event designed to help keep you awake.

Each of the 7 days of the event cover various areas of training.  If you want a more complete list of how that breaks down you can get it here.  It’s hard for me to pick my favorite section but if I had to pick one I would say it’s the masculine feminine section.  Tony takes traditional relationship strategies and flips it on it’s head.  He shows you how the average American man has (in some cases) gone from a Clark Gable masculine man in the 50′s to a Khaki pants wearing p***y in the 2000′s.  He also explains how women have (in some cases) slid from sexy and feminine to a more masculine version of themselves.

It’s next to impossible for me to fully describe over 70 hours of content.  Trust me when I tell you it was totally worth it and that I would do it again (actually I did do it again).  I just believe that it’s critical who we ‘hang out’ and ‘surround’ ourselves with.  Don’t get me wrong I am by no means a Tony Robbins drink the purple Kool-Aid groupie.  His stuff is just that life changing and worth the time and money that I wanted to share it.  It has certainly changed mine without a doubt.

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Heading to Buenos Aires in 2 weeks for Tango Dancing. Anyone know of a good Milonga?

Also, if you have been to a UPW before and want to try a DWD seminar- here’s a ‘backstage’ special offer from Tony himself (I am not an affiliate and receive NOTHING- just wanted you to know) :)

Defining the New Jet Set

I’ve been asked to define the New Jet Set. So here’s goes:

The new jet set is subculture of people who choose to live their life now, instead of deferring their dreams to later in life. They have learned to leverage technology to create income, time and freedom so they can regularly travel from one stylish or exotic place to another for pleasure. No jet required.

The credit for that ethos goes to Tim Ferriss of the Four Hour Work Week. The new jet set part is mine.

So, what’s that really mean? I get to travel all over the world with my girl and party with the best of em’.

I realized a common thread as I travelled to jet set destinations around the globe. Everyone I met (with their champagne glass in hand), had some kind of muse that was paying for their lifestyle while they were quietly (and sometimes not so quietly) traveling from one hot spot to another. Not 365 days a year… but a lot.

In the words of Donnie Deutsch (who by the way I just found out is running for mayor of new york) Why not ME?


The one question I get asked all the time is ” dude (that really is how it starts) how do you take 12 weeks off per year”. My answer is always the same. I made a decision to. The word decide in it’s latin root comes from the word incision. Which means to cut. I simply decided to cut off from all other options.

I got real clear about the life style I wanted. I used Tim Ferriss dream-lining process and mapped out the exact number of weeks I wanted to travel.

I kind of worked the equation backwards. How much time off per year do I want? How much per month do I need to make? How do I create a hands of business to pay for it (a muse)?

That’s where this blog comes in. I created this blog for people who WANT to be part of the new jet set community and NOT for those who want to talk about all the reasons why they can’t be (I’ll have a cocktail with them in Mykonos in a few weeks at the Belvedere Hotel pool). For now let’s leave this community for the people that want to make it happen.

Capiche.

Rob